I Think I Might Be Crazy ...

I am willing to bet a fair amount of cash that anyone who has been 'down under' has loved it and might - out of need - partake in some scandalous activities in order to return. The beaches in Queensland are comparable with those exotic postcard images of the beaches in Thailand and the rest of South East Asia, the iconic Sydney Opera House is even more intriguing in person, Melbourne - the home of the Australian Open - is the 'sister' city of San Francisco, and well, Kangaroos, outdoor activities, women and surfing galore. Despite all this, I'm leaving ...

I had what I dubbed a 'Western Freak Out' two days ago. Something just hit me and I knew I had to get out of here. I felt trapped; imprisoned. I had been struggling to cope with the changes of lifestyle and culture that come with being back in the west since I arrived. Hannes - a cool cat from my second time around in Kuala Lumpur - had told me that I would and that it truly takes a strong conscious effort to knock yourself out of it. That thought was reiterated by a girl I met upon arrival at my favorite German's place in Sydney.

I wish that I could accurately articulate the thoughts that have/are running through my head in an effort to sort them out and reassure myself that I am doing the right thing (noting of course that there are no guarantees in life and the effects of any one decision have the potential to ripple out through the tide of time).

Financially speaking, I am an idiot as going through this ordeal entails forfeiting a ridiculously cheap flight back into Asia at a later date, buying a new ticket last minute, missing the flight due to extremely incompetent service people (jetstar is a waste of life) resulting in a rescheduling fee and lastly a pre-arranged ticket out of KL. Mentally speaking, I think I am doing the right thing. I realized that 1)at this point in my life, the 'real world' isn't so real, 2)that this trip is finite and regardless of the risk I need to follow my heart wherever it leads me and 3)when traveling (for me at least) the 'first' and 'third' world should not be mixed and match. The amount of time it takes to readjust your mind and wallet accordingly is better spent zip lining through a jungle, hitch hiking through Indonesia, chasing after a girl and well, owning life.

It's funny ... I've been in Australia for 3 weeks and all I have seen is Sydney. I have had some good times and met great a few great people who have helped me get through this surprisingly difficult time (God I must sound like a whiny brat).


To my gracious host, I am forever in your debt. I am lucky to be a benefactor of your generosity, friendship and more importantly, your love. As much as it pains me to leave you, our paths will soon cross and should they not, believe me when I tell you that I carry a piece of you with me wherever I go.